


Mine and only Mine

by besosdecanela



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, F/M, Morality, Sexual Content, Violence, dub-con, semi canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-08 07:09:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5488262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/besosdecanela/pseuds/besosdecanela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessica Jones will not run any longer. Her own sacrifice will save millions. Kilgrave accepts this sacrifice with a smile and open arms; he will show her how far her offering will go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello fello readers~  
> So I finished JJ yesterday and I, like others, really REALLY enjoyed our terrible villian. I wanted to explore the psychology behind Jessica and Kilgraves relationship.  
> In this fanfiction , Jessica has willingly given herself over to Kilgrave in order to save her friends and probably all of NY. 
> 
> I have tagged this with its appropriate ratings and tags. This will have sexual content and discussion of rape. This is a warning before reading. Again, be warned; this is triggering to some people.
> 
> Okay, well please lmk what you think? I'll update soon. Enjoy.

She was seated in that old chair, its arms held together with cheap tape. The bottle was almost empty, another one down.  
It wasn't a hot night, but beads of sweat were accumulating on her brow. 

The whiskey wasn't helping her splitting migraine but what did she care? The least she could do is suffer through it. Maybe the alcohol could make it worse; maybe if she drank enough , she would die.

Jessica could see Luke Cages limp body on her bed, his shallow breathing faint. Claire had fallen asleep beside the bed. 

Her phone vibrated again. 

/I am waiting/.

Her large eyes looked upon the text. Carefully, Jessica took ahold of the bottle again. The whiskey barely burned her throat anymore. 

She held back the lump in her stomach. Her heart was beating madly, as calm as she might appear outwardly.  
Running away would be useless. Confronting him meant death, or worse.  
Her eyes darted over to her lovers body. 

One life for millions, maybe even more.  
Those were the best odds she would ever get. 

Her slim back touched the chair. She stared at the ceiling, parts of the paint chipping away. Cracks danced across the roof, splitting away like veins. 

She could see Trish's face, disappointment thick in her eyes.  
This wasn't betrayal. This was salvation, for everyone in this planet. 

There was nothing that could stop Him. Nothing except the illusion of love. 

She laughed at herself bitterly, her head falling down. Her raven hair was wet with blood in some areas, shining with the dim light of the fan. 

She wasn't ignorant. She knew what she was doing. Others will assume she had gone insane, or perhaps suicidal. 

It didn't matter to her. As long as they were all alive, it didn't matter what He would do to her. 

She would become a doll, primed and perfect, just for Him.

Bile rose into her throat. 

It didn't matter.  
She repeated this as she rose from the desk, stepping over the pieces of debris scattered on the floor.  
Jessica put the phone in her pocket; she wouldn't bother bringing much else.  
She didn't have much to bring anyway. 

 

Hope.  
Clemons.  
His own Mother.  
His own father.  
Ruben.  
Hundreds of others, strangers, people. 

Luke.

No. She wouldn't add him to the list. He will live. 

She grabbed the doorknob, careful not to tear it off. Her rage was boiling, the vein pulsating on the side of her head. 

At the moment, a vibration echoed in the room.  
A second of fear. Could it be His impatient self again?

The text read her best friends name. 

/Where are you??/

Her thumb hovered over the screen, thinking. She wouldn't keep dragging Trish into this. Now, she could be free. 

The young woman opened and closed the door quickly, knowing she would never return again.  
The door closed silently. 

She typed what she wanted to say, quickly. Without much thought, Jessica sent the message.

 

/I love you./


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the comments! They are greatly appreciated and inspire me :)
> 
> Here's chapter 2 since I had some time for a quick update. I wanted to clarify the timeline for this as well. I would say this takes places before the last two episodes of J.J.(his father however, is dead in my story before all that has happened.) The serum and the end plot has been omitted, and my story continues.
> 
> Also trigger warning in this chapter for discussion of rape. 
> 
> Thanks for the reads! Lmk what you think ~

She walked down the stairs, feeling the vibration of her phone in her jacket. She knew it was Trish, probably going crazy.  
But everything would be alright. 

Jessica walked out of the dark building, a strange quiet in the street. It was past midnight. 

She took the phone out of her pocket, refusing to look at the messages. That would just make this worse.  
With a quick burst of her enormous strength, Jessica crushed the phone in her hand. She threw the remains of the device in the nearby trash can. 

She was aware she wouldn't need that. If she wanted Him to trust her to stay, Jessica would have to sever all ties to her past life. 

She couldn't help wondering how it would feel to end him, His life draining out of him because of her hands.  
The pit in her stomach grew.  
No. Not yet. Perhaps later, when He could be distracted by the gloss of lips or the shine of her irises. Maybe then. 

But right now, Jessica had somewhere to be. 

"J-Jessica Jones...?"

A meek voice called from a dark car parked in the corner.  
Jessica looked to see an older man in a luxurious suit waiting for her response. 

"Depends."

The man was shaking.  
"I'm supposed to d-drive you, Ma'am. To H-him. Please get in."

The man opened the door for her, waiting. 

"What are you supposed to do if I don't?" Jessica asked, knowing well what to expect. 

"I'm supposed to get in front of a moving car and make sure it kills me."

Jessica shook her head and walked toward the car.  
She stepped inside, hearing the man sigh in relief. He quickly drove away.  
She did not look back.

The put in her stomach was becoming painful.  
But strangely, Jessica embraced the pain.  
Didn't she deserve it?  
The faces of her parents flashed in her mind, something common in her daily life. She could even hear her brothers laugh, far away. 

She was far from religious, but she found herself praying this could work.  
A sacrifice for a sacrifice. 

Traffic wasn't too bad. The chauffeur drove the young women north, until they were on the upper eastside of Manhattan. Jessica didn't recognize much of this area; she stood out as is. 

The car stopped at a gothic style hotel, it's pointed arches spiraling upward. The entrance was empty, except for a young man, casually holding a pocketknife to his left jugular.  
Jessica ran out of the car, carefully approaching the bellboy. 

"Tenth floor, penthouse suite."  
The young man exclaimed, the blade shaking against his blotchy skin.  
Jessica could feel herself getting hot, the blood rushing to her head . Her migraine pounded against her forehead. 

The lobby was inlaid with cherry wood and black marble, the fresh orchids filling the quiet air with a fresh scent. Jessica didn't pay much attention to any of the outlandish display and hurried up the elevator. 

 

The ding of the elevator echoed in her ears. The golden doors opened to a dim large suite, similar to the lobby. The furnishings were made of mahogany while an unlit chandelier proudly hung from the ceiling. There was only one light on, a Tiffany lamp in the corner.

The fine glass doors of the balcony were open.

As she stepped outside, the cold wind burned her fair face. It was a beautiful garden situated among taller skyscrapers. The city lights were similar to fireflies dancing in the air. Any other day, Jessica would maybe find this to be...pleasant. Not her style, but pleasant.

The figure at the end of the veranda made it her new hell. 

Slowly, the tall man turned around.  
Kilgrave smiled. 

Jessica felt like she could truly vomit.

"Not the most punctual woman I've met, but I didn't mind the wait. Not this time."

He walked closer to her, the dark magenta of his suit appearing to shine with the low lights. Jessica stood her ground. 

"I came. I'm here. Of my own will. Before spouting any bullshit, remember that."

Kilgrave couldn't help smirk. The young woman's lip twitched in disgust. 

"Right, yes, of course. I wouldn't ever forget that, darling. I'm aware I have no control over you any longer....which brings us to now."

He leaned against the steel intricate railing. 

"Why are you here?"

This was more than a simple question. He wanted to know why Jessica had seemingly given in, had come to him without much of a fight. There had been too many bloody fights to count, leading up to this moment.  
Their twisted cat and mouse game had come to an end. 

Jessica swallowed the sour taste in her mouth. Right in front of her was a murderer, a conniving 'gifted' monster.  
But she knew how to control the monster. 

"I'm...I.......fuck."

There were too many things she wanted to say. Why wasn't her mouth working?

Kilgrave tried to hide his surprise.

"Oh? Usually so chatty with 'asshole' this and 'prick' that. Here, I'll assist. "

He cleared his throat mockingly. 

"I cannot control you any longer. We both know that. I cannot make you do anything. And I will not. Just like our last....agreement, ahem, that went sour. I will not."

Jessica smiled bitterly. 

"Right. And I'm supposed to believe that."

"You've never given me much of a ch-"

"Don't. Don't even give me that bullshit. You've tried, alright. And you've always had some sick little plan backed up, haven't you?!"

She breathed deeply, trying to  
calm herself. Arguing wasn't going to get anywhere anyway. 

"I am done. Do you hear me? I am done with all of this. I'm...I'm so tired."

Kilgrave's smirk disappeared. He had gone serious, seeing Jessica's sudden change in tone. 

"I'm here. I'm yours," She spat, her voice thick with resentment. 

"You won't hurt anyone, you won't kill anyone ever again. You will never kill again.  
Their safety in exchange for me. Is that enough for you?"

Will it ever be?

The tall man looked down, deep in thought. A few seconds of silence, the wind blowing through the potted bushes. 

He took a step closer. Jessica could smell the expensive cologne he had probably applied before seeing her. Kilgrave met her eyes. 

"That's all I've ever wanted, Jessica."

He tried to approach her, but Jessica was quicker.  
"Uh-uh. No. I said it before. You won't touch me again."

He rolled his eyes, a speck of fury passing by.

"Right yeah, I'm a rapist, I remember."

"You're more than that," Jessica replied with hate.

"You go ahead and lie to yourself!" he exclaimed.  
"I made sure that you enjoyed it, that it was true pleasure for you. And I know you enjoyed it, darling. I felt it."

The bile that had settled in Jessica's throat rose again. 

"But no matter. You'll see, my dear..."  
Kilgrave leaned toward her. 

 

"You'll see how this love is real. My love has always been real. All I've done, all I've destroyed, all I've created! For you."

He went to reach for her but stopped midway. 

The man turned toward the glass doors.

"It's quite late, Jessica. The room is ready for you. Everything you need is at your disposal."

Jessica looked at her feet, her breathing becoming difficult.  
It was real. This was all real, and it was beginning. Again.  
But this time, it would be forever.

"Come in, darling. You need your rest. We have a very long day ahead of us...."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh you're comments make my day. Thanks for everything guys. 
> 
> So here's another update, albeit short. Christmas is tomorrow over here, and I don't know when I'll have a bit more time to update. So I wanted to leave you with something. I'll be back soon enough!
> 
> Warning: dubious consent ahead. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Happy holidays to all.

/The sun was setting before them. The wind was humid against their skin, smelling of salt and moisture. The small palms danced above them. 

The cabin on the shore had been a perfect selection by him; there weren't many distractions around for miles. There was only him and his Jessica. 

Sometimes she would go silent, looking ahead of her with a tint of longing in her large eyes. But Kilgrave would fix any longing. Anything she wanted, he would give.   
They retired for the evening, enjoying a fine light Merlot. He hadn't need to say much or command this night; Jessica was conversing and smiling all on her own. 

He commented on the ditzy look on the seagulls they had seen earlier on the beach. Jessica had sipped some wine, giggling into glass like she didn't have a care in the world.   
He looked upon her, noticing the beauty marks on her neck. Her eyes were a strange mix between a hazel and green color. They shined beautifully against her raven hair. For him, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. 

He would make her happy. Not a fleeting type of happiness, either. All the suffering she had gone through would disappear, as long as Jessica was with him.  
Kilgrave had decided that. 

As he looked upon her, He felt like a different man. All the rage, all the fiery hate that had made him who he was was now static at the back of mind. 

His focus went back to her, silently sipping her wine, a look of aloofness on her face. Suddenly, a trickle of wine spilled from her mouth, running down her neck. 

Kilgrave went rigid. His handkerchief could easily wipe the little accident, but his want was too great.  
This was pure temptation . 

He found himself leaning nearer, close enough to smell the fresh scent of her skin. Jessica was silent.   
Kilgraves long fingers stretched to find the small of her back, pulling her towards him gently.   
His mouth kissed right below her pulse, tasting the wine and the woman before him. He felt her hold her breath.   
A gentle command escaped him. 

He told her to relax, that's all, trying to sound casual.   
She slowly moved her head upward, allowing the man feeding off her more space.   
He licked at her skin, his thick tongue lapping over her veins.   
Kilgrave could feel her temperature rising beneath his mouth.

His eyes glanced above him, trying to see how his love was reacting to touch. He needed to see her, watching her emotions through her eyes.   
Jessica's bright eyes were closed, her mouth open in a mix of pain and ecstasy. Kilgrave could feel his own heartbeat quicken beneath his silk shirt. 

He trailed down her collarbone, kissing everything in its way. Kilgrave wanted to explore everything about her, every corner and edge of her magnificent body. 

There was one spot in particular, right between her breasts. It was a point of pleasure Kilgrave had discovered; it made Jessica moan almost always.   
It was her Achilles heal, among other areas. 

And he kissed with all the ferocity he could will himself to produce, without breaking skin. The sound of her ecstasy reached his ears.  
She was moaning, because of him.   
He repeated this to himself inwardly, feeling his own erection brush against his leather slacks. 

Her hand touched his hair; Jessica pushed him closer, rougher against her chest. 

No command was uttered.

This was all Kilgrave needed./

 

.....

The alarm of the Swiss watch echoed in the living room. It kept repeating until the wearer turned it off, groggily against the chilly morning air.   
Kilgrave had fallen asleep on leather chair of the suite, the glass of wine empty in his hand. 

His watch read 9:30 a.m. 

He glanced toward the veranda; the rays of the morning sun were touching the buildings, surrounding the hotel in yellow and copper light.

In a flash, Kilgrave remembered his dream, his memory. 

He bit his to tongue, a habit of his. Slowly, his rage diminished. 

It wasn't just a memory. It was to be his reality, sooner or later.  
He looked toward the guest room, the door closed shut. 

Jessica would realize everything soon enough. This time, she will fall in love with the only man that sincerely understands her.   
She was an abyss of unknown knowledge; Kilgrave would gladly go into any darkness if it meant understanding this woman better. 

And he will.

He picked up the desk phone and uttered a command to room service for breakfast. 

This was his moment, their moment, in time.   
His hand soothed his neck. 

You don't choose who you love.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome. Thank you for all the comments. I really appreciate it. <3  
> Sorry for the delay in updates; the holidays have been crazy. Here's a new chapter. More to come soon. Hope everyone had a great New Years!  
> Lmk what you think?  
> Much love.

Jessica was in no mood. She stayed silent, ignoring Kilgraves constant banter. She hadn't slept as much as she would have liked; Kilgrave only explained the bare minimum.   
"Foreign beauty" and "gorgeous views" were among the phrases proclaimed when describing their destination.  
Jessica didn't have anything to say.

The morning was chilly. There were a few private jets stored in the facility, glowing yellow with the early sun. Theirs was already ready.  
It only took a few commands for the pilots to be ready, the hostesses and flight attendees waiting on their requests. 

Kilgrave was tempted to guide her up the metal stairs, but thought othewise. He wasn't going to rush this. 

Jessica was dressed in a dark satin dress, showing off her toned arms. Much to her disgust, she looked gorgeous; just what He wanted. 

They soon boarded the exclusive jet, probably belonging to one of the many millionaires in New York. The inside was coated in wood, the seats made out of the finest leather.   
They had had their breakfast at the hotel, but Kilgrave went ahead and ordered fresh mimosas for Jessica. He promised her it could make her feel ready for their 'adventure.'

The blonde stewardess had the drinks ready quickly, serving them with poise. Jessica held hers as Kilgrave sipped his with pleasure.   
She was seated in front of him, eyeing him through the glass of her morning drink. Foam accumulated on the thin rim.

There were a thousand different thoughts in her head, and simultaneously, not one at all. She couldn't think anymore; if she did, Jessica's rage wouldn't have an end. If she didn't think, she could stay, fulfill what she had promised.

She looked out the clean window, the jet accumulating speed. Jessica watched the New York skyline becoming smaller and smaller as their transport ascended into the sky. 

Trish was safe. Luke was safe. Malcolm could get his life together. Life could continue now. 

She took a sip, as if she had never drunk before, calmly. Jessica was used to hard liquor; this tasted like refreshing juice more than anything. 

Liftoff was smooth. They were hitting 10,000 feet in a matter of minutes. The New York skyline disappeared. 

Kilgrave hadn't stopped looking at her. This was too good to be actually true. He was cautious, but he would enjoy this.

Jessica could feel her eyes slowly closing; the hum of airplane was lulling her body to sleep.   
The night before, it had taken her a while to finally catch some sleep. She could use some more.

"Oh, I'm certain you'll enjoy it. Actually, I guarantee it, Jessica. The best little cafe is near the cathedral. One of the most scrumptious paella I've taste-

"I'd like to go to sleep. Until we get to...wherever."

Kilgrave, surprised by her suddenness, was silent. His charisma returned in seconds. 

"Oh, of course, dear. You can rest, it'll be quite a while till we land. "

At this, Kilgrave called for the blonde stewardess and spoke lowly in her ear. 

"Follow me, ma'am."

Jessica finished the last bit of her mimosa.   
She followed the stewardess toward the back of the plane. A thin curtain covered the right side of the back.   
A small twin sided cot was waiting for Jessica, Egyptian cotton sheets coating the comfortable bed. 

Jessica fell on the bed, not giving a damn about changing. She heard the stewardess grumble in disapproval but Jessica was too exhausted to care.  
She needed rest; perhaps she would be tired forever. 

Her eyes closed to the soft vibration of the jet. Besides the hum, there was silence in the cabin. 

She went to sleep, finding some peace knowing that the few Jessica loved were safe. 

A few tears fell down her cheeks.   
Regret was painful.

....

It didn't take long for Jessica to fall into a deep slumber. Kilgrave watched the clouds darken as the last rays of sun reached the jet. 

He paced around the cabin, his usually relaxed mind running quickly with analysis. 

Jessica had been sleeping the entire flight; she hadn't even stirred in her sleep. 

Kilgraves dark eyes found her relaxed body, slightly moving with her slow breathing.   
He walked closer, catching a faint whiff of her natural scent. 

He could have sworn he saw a faint smile on her full lips. 

Kilgrave felt his hand reach toward her, gently touching Jessica's head.  
She did not move.

The tall man walked away, pacing away toward his seat. 

The sky was dark, a few stars emerging from the clouds.   
They would be arriving soon.


End file.
